Dec 21st, 2019
It doesn’t feel to me quite like it did when I was a kid, getting on school break. Probably because two weeks with no work is much more exciting when you don’t have to pay your bills.
I’ll say this: I hope my career grows as fast as Roland does.
Things are changing like crazy, as we knew they would. We only try to keep up, adapting to the new while trying to make a routine out of what is constant. As the boy gets bigger it becomes more difficult to bring him to the shows. By eight o’clock it’s time for bed, no matter where we are. While we can make exceptions, I’ve got one out-of-town gig a week, which makes it hard to build routine. Still, we have an awful lot of fun.
When things get hard, we come back to our mantras that work best. That's why I write. So that I might be able to see some of the choices that have brought me to where I am. What worked for me, and what didn’t. Here’s one that works:
Let it be.
Thanks Paul. Thanks Chris + Pete.
I am deeply grateful for the people in my life. During the holiday season that is upon us, I find myself so wrapped up in the inner-workings of my own life as I have never been before. It is the great contrast of the bitter with the sweet. I ask myself, as I'm sure have many others across time: as we live our lives, and our memories and experiences accumulate, are we distracted from our true, potential bliss?
A magenta sunset reflecting off the ocean, the climax of the performance of a great composition, a child on Christmas morning; the things that bring us closest to our place of warmth are the only things that we need to keep in our minds, as whatever we choose to give our attention to will get the most of our energy. And our energy is precious.
Roland will be eleven months old on the day after Christmas. He now holds up his hand high to you, trying to feed or beckon, I’m not sure he even knows which. He grunts like a caveman and screams like a 13 year old girl from 1964. He is babbling so consistently that we've begun calling him “Bob”. Among other nicknames are Smiley, Happy-head, Little, Chunk, Potato, Titbrain (not sorry), and of course, Bubzy. His favorite foods are banana, apple, carrots, sweet potato, cheerios, and hummus. He loves beans and I’ve been cooking soup somewhat regularly, which he's all about (caveman grunt).
I see a number of great goals laid out before me, and I am preparing: I intend wholly to give my children an education physically, mentally, and most importantly, emotionally.
To intend, and to plan is all wonderful. But to be wrapped up in planning, and to forget to keep our awareness rooted in the present moment; to forget to give thanks and be thankful in general, it can be fatal. So with this I've created a new category in my website here: poems. It will represent a place I knew as a child, that seemed to slip away as I got older and became heavier with the trappings of life. This place is coming back to me now as I look at my son. I see my future wife and I see our destiny. I know only where we intend to go, not how we will get there. With this our beautiful journey is underway, a trip through a realm of infinite possibility, uncertainty guiding us at every turn and reminding us that every hang-up is an opportunity for betterment, and as long as we keep this in our mind, we will always be able to learn as we grow.
Thank you for reading. Happy Holidays everyone.