Things sure can be tough sometimes, as we all know. I find myself feeling silly (embarrassed) sometimes, once my heart rate regulates, for having gotten so worked up about any of the many things that seem to sneak up on me. I'm only 26, and I don't claim to know it all (or have it figured out). I'm learning as I go, as are we all. Though in my short experience I've found that focusing on certain aspects of life really help me to remain thankful when things get too hot. I spend a lot of time thinking about how to remain calm, and thankful, and I want to share some thoughts.
Give thanks. You made it. You are alive, and you are not alone.
I am fascinated by what it takes to be happy, satisfied, content. There are fine lines between emotions, and as an artist I spend a lot of time thinking about the differences in our actions; the small decisions we make that will inherently affect our future mindsets and situations. Our momentary decisions (the little things) have much more weight than we credit them, as thoughts and ideas have no measure on a scale of the physical kind. Gold has weight. A dollar bill has value. A $100 bill has more. And so this is how we define our goals, our contentment, our happiness.
This kind of thinking can lead to some serious issues. What about the things we can't measure with a scale? Our life becomes based on fixed values represented as numbers. As long as we have the money to buy the thing, the problem remains below the surface, brooding, growing, as greed. Do we remember that money can't buy us love? The number on the bank statement says only if we can afford to go out to dinner again tonight. Do we appreciate the person waiting on us, or do we assume our credit cards will do the talking? If we called up a friend, would they want to come with us?
The numeric value we've given to money as a society has made it very easy to ignore our ability to give value of our own accord to the things that matter: friendly conversation, genuine expression, smiling. A capitalistic push away from art education and encouragement is unfortunately in the works, another sad reminder that "profit" is all that matters. By maximizing profit, we are also maximizing greed. I can only speak from experience, but I know that at some point or another, your cherished profits won't be where you want them to be, and oftentimes, this is the source of the most aggressive and unnecessary downs.
Ups happen naturally. With a baby boy, our smiles are automatic each morning when we see that he is still alive, and even better: happy. He coos at us, and even when he cries, we are elated and unbelieving of his perfection. We feel so blessed. Though it doesn't stop the natural ebb and flow that creates the tide that is life. I somehow still manage to find time to get upset, even as we bathe in this heavenly light. How can this be? Day to day there are millions of thoughts and ideas interfering with my ability to remain "in the moment". Am I doing everything that I need to? I worry I won't be able to book enough shows, or the right ones. I fear that I won't have enough money next month, or next year, although I know we'll be okay (thanks, honey). I've never experienced such worry, but I've certainly never experienced such joy.
I write in order to remind others and myself that in those moments of friction, when your worry is getting the best of you, step back and order your priorities. Somebody I respect recently provided me with a comforting analogy: a "golden nugget" in the middle of everything in her mind that represents what is paramount in her life, and building subsequent, less-important priorities off of it. Manifesting such an image to help arrange what is meaningful to one as an individual allows the mind to rest, making it visible that many of the things that were causing stress just before are now placed safely "outside-the-bubble", with only the really significant things taking our precious attention and energy. She didn't have to tell me that her "nugget", like mine, is parenthood.
Loving our kids is what's most important. Having the money to provide food and a roof for them is essential, but I've found that to me, being present and warm for my son, giving him the positive energy that he needs like the sun in order to grow, is much more valuable than worrying about any possible future instability. There will always be something to worry about, something to prepare for. Time is our most valuable asset, not money. To remember this is to remember that any down is not worth giving so much attention to that we will miss out on the up that counters it. They are both inevitable, so give your love while you've got the time to do so. Each moment is so precious, don't waste it by not appreciating all that you have. Don't let worry of the future ruin the beauty of right now.
